Revenge of the Hufflepuffs
by Evil Yellow Day Moon
Summary: For hundreds of years Hufflepuff House has been considered the “loser” House. Its students are stereotyped as…well…a bit dense and are looked down on by the other students. But what happens when the Hufflepuffs say “no more?" please r/r
1. Helga and Marty: The Badger's Legacy

Title: Revenge of the Hufflepuffs

Author: funkybuddah

Disclaimer: JKR owns all the characters you recognize. Helga's little prophecy, poem, thingy, yeah is a parody of one in Brian Jaques' "The Legend of Luke"

Summary: For hundreds of years Hufflepuff House has been considered the "loser" House. Its students are stereotyped as…well…a bit dense and are looked down on by the other students. (dramatic voice) But what happens when the Hufflepuffs say "no more."?

 By the way-   ~ = thoughts

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Scotland, 1000 years ago…

" I forbid the exception of Mudbloods to our school. They are not the same Godric. They CANNOT be trusted!" bellowed Salazar. He was in an exceptionally bad mood. The school term had just ended and it was the time of year that Salazar looked upon in dread. He and the other founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry met to choose which students would be attending come fall. During these meetings, Godric and Salazar would get into vicious arguments, which ended with no decisive winner or loser.

Godric beat his fist on his desk. "Salazar, how many times have we discussed this? It was decided long ago that anyone, regardless of parentage, who showed signs of magical aptitude should be educated here. The subject is closed!"

Salazar glowered, not accepting defeat. Helga saw beyond his cold, gray eyes. She could see a rebellion brewing, a resentment of his colleagues.  Helga sat quietly in the corner. When Salazar was "in one of his moods" (as Rowena called it), she avoided saying anything. From experience she knew that he would give up soon and everything would return to normal. 

Helga wanted desperately to say something. She wanted to stand up to Salazar, just once. In the room she felt invisible, overshadowed by her braver friends. Helga stood up and left the arguing to those who knew how. Suddenly there was a high-pitched scream and a crash. ~Why must it always end in violence? ~

Her footsteps echoed through the empty corridors. The moving portraits offered no comfort; the glistening suits of armor, which lined the hall offered little companionship. She found herself in the Entrance Hall. Pushing with all her might, Helga opened the oak doors and exited the castle. 

A small, black animal was waddling across the grounds, growing larger every minute. Helga recognized it as her pet badger, Marty. Well, badgers don't travel very fast, so it was quite some time before Marty reached his owner. He looked up at Helga with those big, brown, badger eyes that just melt your heart. She scooped up the badger. This was no mean feat. They're huge, with, nasty big, pointy teeth. (a/n Just for you Rachel!) 

"Oh Marty, the whole world's gone to hell in a hand basket. Why can't we all just get along?" Helga cried into her badger's shoulder, or at least his shoulder blade. Marty just let out a grunt. The sun was peeking through the clouds. She set Marty on the ground, where he sat patiently. A ray of light fell upon Helga and heavenly voices began to sing (a/n. I know it's so cliché) Suddenly there came a voice from above. It said:

You stand here in this world alone

No friend you have, you're really bored.

Just the smelly badger you own

That's a pretty sad reward,

But Hufflepuff in a time of need,

Will bring forth one who's cool, like me

To that one, a good dancer indeed

I leave the Badger's Legacy.


	2. Leo DeLacy

Revenge of the Hufflepuffs

By: funkybuddah

Disclaimer: JKR owns anyone you recognize. Marty, the students in that I create for the Sorting, and ::: angelic voices from above::: Leonardo DeLacy

September 1, 1995 (Harry's 5th year)

The Great Hall erupted with applause as the Sorting Hat finished its song. The first-years clapped nervously, unsure of what to make of the patched and frayed hat before them. Professor McGonagall unrolled her scroll of parchment. 

"When I call your name you will put on the Sorting Hat and be seated on the stool." she said. "Barson, Elsie"

"SLYTHERIN"

"Bates, Abigail"

"RAVENCLAW"

"Cetrun, Thomas"

"GRYFFINDOR"

"Carton, Sydney"

"SLYTHERIN"

"DeLacy, Leonardo"

All eyes fell upon Leonardo DeLacy as he walked up to the Hat. He…well…stood out from the rest of the other first-years. Leo was taller than a normal eleven year old. His raven-hued hair hung to his shoulders. He seemed to radiate confidence.

Harry and his fellow Gryffindor fifth-years had been betting Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans on which House each student would be sorted into. Ron was currently winning, having correctly guessed each student's House. He looked at Leo for a moment, sizing him up.

"I say he's in Gryffindor," said Ron. "Wadda 'ya think Harry?"

"I agree. Hermione?" 

"Oh, I want to say Gryffindor, but I'll go with the long shot. Five beans say he's in Hufflepuff."

Harry and Ron had to jam their fists in their mouths to stifle their laughter. There was no way Leo DeLacy could be a Hufflepuff. He was too…well…too cool looking to be a Hufflepuff. A few seconds later their smiles were wiped away and spirits fell.

"HUFFLEPUFF"

Leo took off the hat and proceeded to his House table. Everyone was silent .The sound of crickets filled the room. Dumbledore's clapping broke the eerie silence, bringing the students back to reality. The students began to clap, still staring wide-eyed at Leo.

Hermione grinned triumphantly. "Yes! Pay up guys." 


	3. Hufflepuff's resident Badass (a.k.a Leo'...

Revenge of the Hufflepuffs

By: funkybuddah

Disclaimer: See Chapters 1 and 2

Authors Note: I don't think my italics aren't working::: big fake sobs::: Oh well, I'll make due. I had to up the rating. Leo has a filthy mouth. In case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, this fic is a response to a challenge and it the rules are as thus follows:

It must include:

31 pears

The entire Hufflepuff House break-dancing

A Kenny Rogers CD

Enjoy::: grins like madman:::

Several weeks later…

Leo DeLacy was not a happy Hufflepuff.

First of all, everything was yellow. God, how he hated yellow. His first morning he awoke to find the room filled with sunlight, birds were singing and all was right with the world. It was disgustingly perfect. He strongly believed that whomever decorated the room was on LSD. 

Then came the other House color…black. Yellow and black. What was the Founder, a f***in' bumblebee? And the mascot was a badger. Not exactly the most terrifying of creatures. Ah yes, the terrifying badger. _Watch the badger, in its mighty rage, nibble its opponent's bum! How mighty is the badger's wrath! Ground squirrels flee from it and butterflies quiver in fear of the evil tetrapod!_

Leo was easily the brightest student in his House. It doesn't take much when your classmates look as though they couldn't string two words together. During Herbology he would look over to where the Gryffindors were working. Their personalities matched his own and he found their company much more pleasurable. _I should been in Gryffindor, but oh no. I had to be in the f***ing "Huffingstuff" House. Okay, God, do you enjoy screwing up my life? If so, that's pretty sick and you seriously need a new hobby.  I mean is there a reason I'm in Hufflepuff? Toss me a friggin bone God. _

Well, God happened to be listening to Leo that particular day and gave him an answer, though it wasn't the one he wanted. That evening Leo got dressed for bed as usual (in a green shirt that said "Make 7up yours" and plaid boxers) and headed up toward his dormitory. After muttering "f***ing yellow" he climbed into bed. He dreamt he was walking down a hallway, stopping next to a portrait. It was a picture of a bowl of fruit. A woman's face materialized from the pear. The face smiled and whispered "If you break-dance, they will come."

Leo woke with a start. He shook his head, trying to forget the pear-lady's words. "I don't even know how to break-dance for God sake.", he said, "At least I think I can't." Finding the other boys fast asleep (Leo figured if an atomic bomb exploded a mile away they wouldn't even roll over) he crept out of the dorm. The Common room was empty and the fire had almost died out. 

Glancing around, checking for anyone who might see him, Leo began to hum to himself. He made sure that he had the right beat and began to break-dance. It felt as though he had been able to break-dance all his life, like an instinct. His moves were perfect and performed with ease. Leo got up. This was a sign, a sign of the Hufflepuff revolution. It was his destiny to lead them. No longer would they be downtrodden, snubbed by the other Houses. Their time had come!


	4. Everybody raise your...pear? (a.k.a The ...

Disclaimer: JKR owns Hogwarts and everything that goes with it. Leo DeLacy, Kirsten Lawson, Joey Benninger, and ever-loyal Marty :::pets badger::: are mine J 

Chapter 4: Everybody raise your…pear? (a.k.a The Thirty-one Pear Salute) 

Leo DeLacy paced the Hufflepuff House Common room. His mission, if he chose to accept it, was to take 70 (I assume there to be that many in each House) uncoordinated, untalented, students, ages eleven through seventeen, who had barely mastered the subtle art of the handclap and lead them to Hufflepuff glory. 

"Hufflepuff glory," Leo snorted, "that has to be the biggest oxymoron in the history of mankind. Well, I better get an early start if I'm gonna get this done by June."

He waited in the Common room as his housemates descended the one of the staircases. Leo asked them if they would stay in the Great Hall for a few minutes after breakfast. Being the naïve Hufflepuffs that they are, they all agrees, without even asking why.

Later that morning…

Only the Hufflepuffs remained in the Great Hall. They were gossiping away, swapping rumors and voicing their ideas about the meeting (their guesses weren't even close). Leo stood up, raised his hand for silence. No one paid any attention to him. He decided upon a slightly more drastic approach. Leo hopped onto the large, wooden table, and addressed his housemates in typical Leo DeLacy fashion. 

            "All right puffies, listen up! I gotta lot to say and you better listen. If anyone of you asks me to repeat myself, yer gonna I will personally hex you into little pieces, feed you to Mrs. Norris and after she regurgitates your various pieces of anatomy I will stick you in a cauldron and blow you to kingdom come! I gotta plan to make us the best House at Hogwarts. All we have to do is break-dance. We practice every Wednesday evening and Saturday afternoon. You must come to practice at least one day."

            "And what if we don't want to." came a voice.

            "They'll never find your body," growled Leo, "am I understood?"

            "Yes.", choused the Hufflepuffs.

            "Does everyone agree to participate?"

            "Yes."

            "The time of the "Huffingstuff" House is over!" Leo raised his fist in a revolutionary gesture. 

Everyone rose to his or her feet. They clapped and cheered loudly.

            Joey Benninger, a sixth-year shouted, "All hail our leader! Everyone raise your glass to toast Leo DeLacy!"

The Hufflepuffs would have immediately complied, but there were no glasses to be found. Kirsten Lawson, another sixth-year brought this to Joey's attention.

            "Hey Joey. We…umm…don't have any glasses."

            "Well, what do we have?"

            Kirsten searched around. "We have some pears. Only thirty-one though."

            Joey rolled his eyes. "Okay everyone, double or triple up. Each group raise their pear. To Leo DeLacy, the chosen Hufflepuff!"

The cry echoed throughout the room. And thirty-one pears were raised in salute.


	5. Not my Kenny Rogers (a.k.a "puffie slang...

Disclaimer: JKR onsw her people, I own John and Leo. Tennessee owns it's airport (Not sure if it's an international airport. I've only been there once) The _Titanic_ phrase is from _M*A*S*H, _and the fine Doritos™ people gave me the idea for "puffie slang"

Author's Note: Yay! New Chapter!

Chapter 5: Not my Kenny Rogers (a.k.a "puffie slang")

Music blared and Leo snapped his fingers repeatedly, counting out the rhythm and cursing his bad luck. It was their third practice and Leo was quickly learning that teaching Hufflepuffs to break dance was like trying to raise the _Titanic_ with tweezers.  They were making excruciatingly slow progress. Leo had added another day of lessons, Monday evening. These lessons were to teach the Hufflepuffs how to walk, talk and act completely "unHufflepuffish". The first one was…well…let's just say it was eventful.

"KENNY ROGERS! HE'S A F***ING COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER!"

Each of the dormitories was being searched. Trunks, bedside tables, and dressers were being torn apart. Anything deemed "un-cool" by Leo was promptly tossed out the window. It had been smooth sailing…until now.

Leo, at the tender age of six had developed a temper that could make people twice his size tremble in fear. He had the rare gift of intimidation and he knew how to use it. John J. Astor summered every year in Nashville, Tennessee (a/n ::sarcastically::: just where every British boy wants to go) with his Aunt Cecilia and Uncle Bert. Nashville was the country music capitol and grew to love it. For his tenth birthday he went to Branson, Missouri to see his idol, Kenny Rogers in concert. He even brought his autographed Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits CD to Hogwarts, purely for sentimental purposes.

The CD didn't seem to amuse Leo. Upon seeing the CD in John's trunk a traumatic childhood memory came floating into Leo's mind. What ever it was it evolved jellybeans, a taxi, Nashville International Airport, a rubber ducky, Kenny Rogers, and a six old Leo DeLacy (maybe that's why he has a temper). 

John never knew what hit him in the face, but he guessed it was the CD flung by Leo, who was shaking with rage. 

"KENNY ROGERS?!"

"It's not what it looks like Leo." whimpered John

"KENNY ROGERS?!"

"Please don't hurt me." John pleaded and tears began to stream down his face. He feared for his life "As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…"

"KENNY ROGERS! HE'S A F***ING COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER!"

"I know…"

Leo realized that he had gone a bit overboard. He put the CD back in its case and threw it on John's bed.

"Oh, pull yourself together man. Just try to shake of the country music thing. I'm sorry. Put the CD away where no one will fin it. And have this." Leo handed John another CD.

"Hmmm…_Linkin Park_…thanks Leo."

"No problem my puffie."

"What?" said John, thoroughly confused.

"Repeat after me. Whazup my puffie."

"Whazup my puffie?"

"No problem my puffie."

"No problem my puffie."

"I'm just chillin' with my puffies."

"I'm just chillin' with my puffies."

"There, you just had your first lesson on how to be a Hufflepuff on the 21st century."


	6. Strangers in the shower and conversation...

Revenge of the Hufflepuffs  
  
By: spandymandy  
  
:3 This chapter is dedicated to Rachel, who convinced me to get off my bum and write another chapter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: Strangers in the shower and conversations with one Marty the badger.  
  
  
  
Lets fast forward a few months shall we?  
  
  
  
By late February the Hufflepuffs had caught on to the break-dancing routine and were doing quite well. Leo had to hand it to his fellow Housemates. They were persistent little buggers, didn't like to give up, just like the stupid Sorting Hat went on and on about. Stupid Sorting hat, Leo thought, I'll fix his wagon later. Right now I have more important things to do…like shower.  
  
Seems harmless enough…  
  
Oh, if Leo only knew how wrong he was.  
  
He grabbed a fluffy yellow towel from his dresser and headed into the bathroom off of their dormitory. Setting the towel on a rack next to the shower, Leo stripped and got into the shower. The steam from the warm water fogged the room.  
  
"Well, the whole world loves it when you make that sound." Leo sang to himself…or so he thought.  
  
"Ahh, music. Always one of my favorite things, though you could have picked a more tasteful song young Leo." Came a voice, a female voice.  
  
"What the bloody hell?! Who the bloody hell's out there?!" Leo quickly turned off the water, grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist. Cautiously he got out of the shower. He saw a portly, short woman with braided golden hair wearing a gold and black dress.  
  
"Hello Leo." she said smiling.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Good day to you too." she said laughing.  
  
"I WOULDN"T BRING THAT UP FOR A VOTE IF I WERE YOU!"  
  
She stopped smiling. "I didn't mean to frighten you Leo."  
  
"It's…a little…late…for an …apology!" Leo panted, winded from screaming. "Is...there…a reason…why… you're in…my shower?  
  
"Yes Leo. You have made much progress with my students-"  
  
"You're Helga Hufflepuff?"  
  
"Yes, and kindly don't interrupt me. There talents, behavior changes remain unknown. You must show the other students their progress or everything you have worked for over the course of these past few months has been in vain."  
  
"K'. Are you suggesting a talent show or something?"  
  
"That would be appropriate. To help guide you I will send you an assistant. I must go now." Helga said, fading away.  
  
"Going to surprise more naked, wet people I suppose!" Leo shouted to where a moment before his House founder had stood.  
  
Leo, finished with his shower, dressed again and exited the shower. His four roommates stood right outside the door, mouths agape and eyes wide. He brushed past them and over to his four-poster. On top of the soft yellow bedspread sat a full grown, collared badger. The tag on the leather band read: Marty. (da da da, Dramatic trumpet blast!). Marty, the aforementioned collared badger, looked up at Leo as if to say: Please re-name me!. Then it actually did.  
  
"Please rename me!"  
  
"Oh my God!!!"  
  
"I don't like that name."  
  
"That wasn't a suggestion!"  
  
"Simmer down man."  
  
"Well," said Leo sitting down on the bed next to the badger, "Talking rodents and strange ghosts in the shower aren't everyday things."  
  
"Well, excuuuuse me. Can you rename me please. I can't stand my name."  
  
"I kind of like it."  
  
"Who cares. Suggestions?"  
  
"Texugo?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Its Portuguese for badger."  
  
"Next name."  
  
"Dachs. German for badger."  
  
"No."  
  
"Blaireau?"  
  
Three hours later…  
  
"Lameroux?"  
  
"Hey, I like that."  
  
"Goddamn picky badger."  
  
"I'm warning you, I'm gonna get mad if you don't stop."  
  
"Oh, shut up you pansy."  
  
"I'm warning you."  
  
"What are you going to do, nibble my bum?"  
  
"Oh…There's not much I can do is there?"  
  
"Nope…how long are you going to be staying?"  
  
"Forever. BWAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Goddamn evil badger from hell."  
  
"I'm warning you boy."  
  
"Oh, shut up you!" 


	7. Tea with Mussolini and cookies with Leo

Revenge of the Hufflepuffs

Chapter 7: Tea with Mussolini and cookies with Leo 

The Hufflepuff's transformation from sniveling tattle-tales who jumped in the gene pool while the life guard was away into bad ass 'puffies' did not go unnoticed. 

For the first time in history the students of Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and yes, even Slytherin were aspiring to behave more like the Hufflepuffs. Times were changing fast, and not for the better. Professor Dumbledore, while thrilled that Hufflepuff House was finally receiving the attention it deserved, was also disturbed by the rising amount of graffiti in the halls. Everyday, without fail, Argus Filch would stumble into the Headmaster's office, interrupting Professor Dumbledore's personal correspondence. He would curse and shout in a drunken rage, a bottle of Captain Muldoon's Scotch Whiskey clutched in his hand—all because he had wasted three hours of his meaningless life removing "PUFFIES R HUFFING" or "SHITHEAD SLYTHERINS" from the wall of the fourth floor corridor. Dumbledore knew exactly who was to blame. Leonardo DeLacy.

"Bloody little anarchist." he muttered. 

Leo was, for once, on good behavior. He had retired to his room and considering sneaking down to the kitchens for some food. His fantasy of snack food was interrupted by an owl that didn't quite grasp the concept of flight and collided with Leo's head. 

"What the bloody hell?" Leo muttered, rubbing the rising lump on his skull. He snatched up the letter the ill-fated bird had delivered

The owl lay almost perfectly still. Leo presumed he had killed the little bugger.

"Gives new meaning to 'don't kill the messenger.'"

The owl regained consciousness and it blinked several times. Giving a feeble 'hoot' it managed to fly off.

The letter read:

Mr. DeLacy,

            It has come to my attention that some of your fellow Housemates are bent on raising hell through their own Hufflepuff Revolution. This rebellion was instigated by you and I wish to discuss the matter with you privately after breakfast tomorrow.

                                                            Professor Dumbledore

*****

The next morning…

"Shit, Leo! What the hell did you do this time?" Sydney Carton asked as Leo briefed him and the rest of his friends of the way to the Great Hall.

"That's just the thing. I didn't do anything to piss Dumbledore off." Leo retorted. Tuttle the badger (who despised his name more than 'Marty') trotted behind.

"Yeah, you just turned the whole school upside down just because some tart from the ninth century came took a peek of your goodies in the shower." said Thomas Wyatt sarcastically. 

They found their customary seats, Tuttle on Leo's lap.

"Why do you have to bring that badger down here?", asked Jessica McFall as she reached for a piece of toast. "The last time you did I lost my Charms homework." 

Leo was unusually quiet throughout the meal. When he saw Professor Dumbledore rise he sunk down low to avoid detection. Jessica and Thomas began to hum a funeral dirge. Sydney stood up and made the sign of the cross over Leo. When Leo rose from his seat to follow the Headmaster Sydney called out:

"I am the Resurrection and the Life, saith the Lord. Whoever believith in me shall have eternal life and he who believeith in me as though he were dead, so shall he live." Then he added "Man, you are so screwed!" 

***

Professor Dumbledore's office 

Dumbledore sat at his desk and motioned for Leo to take a seat.

"How are you today Leo?"

"Fine, sir."

"There is no need to call me 'sir'"

"What should I call you then?"

"What ever you like."

"Okay Whateveryoulike. That's kind of a long name."

"You don't have to call me that."

"I'm not calling you 'That'. How about Mussolini? It rhymes with tortellini."

Dumbledore had no idea why an eleven year old boy would address him as a fascist dictator of Italy or stuffed pasta, but paid no attention to such trivial matters. He conjured a cup of tea to help him relax.

"Leo, when you were Sorted, did you like being in Hufflepuff House?"

"No sir, Mr. Mussolini, sir. I loathed it with the burning passion of 10,000 suns, sir."

"What made you upset?"

Leo proceeded to tell him the story about the rooms and the mascot, house colors. Then he then listed things that were completely random and said that they up set him.

Hufflepuffs never get any ass

There aren't any vending machines

Jim Morrison is in Limbo

Butterflies are brainwashing the population of Tibet

Hugh Grant was sent to destroy the Earth  

Rabbits don't make edible jellybeans

Faux fur coats are cruel

Golf courses are managed by hamster Ninjas

Goldfish can't hear 

Needless to say, Professor Dumbledore found all of this highly disturbing. 

"Thank you Leo. You may go now."

"Do you want a cookie Mussolini?" Leo asked, pulling a lint encrusted Girl Scout cookie out of his pocket.

"No…no, thank you."

"My momma always 'Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.'" 

With that said, Leo was off.

Author's Note: I finally updated! Pigs fly and Hell has frozen over!

A few shout outs

Rachel (You know who you are. At least I hope you do.): I finally got you a present :::gives a big grin and thumbs up:: It's spandy-nice. I've got about fifty story ideas floating around in my sorry excuse for a brain but I have to finish this one! Only a few chapters left, I fear. I also fear the Oregon Trail story may never end! :::gasps dramatically::: 

Cathykcool-:::gives a big cheesy grin::: I love your stories. Thanks for reading the Oregon Trail story. 

OneGirlRevolution-:::gasps::: I'm on your favorites list? :::double gasp:::  I'd like to thank the Academy, fanfiction.net, and all the authors who made this story so fun to write. You like me! You really like me! 


	8. All's well that ends well

Revenge of the Hufflepuffs

Chapter 8: All's well that ends well.

            Professor McGonagall sat sipping her tea. She picked up her May issue of _Transfiguration Today_. Severus Snape threw open the door. The heavy oak door hit the wall with a bang and slammed shut.

            "Bloody Hufflepuffs." Snape muttered taking a seat in a high-backed chair across from his collogue. He was in a particularly sour mood. "They've turned the world upside-down. In only a matter of weeks an angst-ridden eleven year old and his enchanted badger reversed the entire social structure of this institution. And now, on top of _everything_ that's happened, Dumbledore decides to bend to the will of the little cretins."

"It's only a talent show Severus." Professor McGonagall said never taking her eyes off the latest article _"So you're an Animagus. Now what?" _by Ambrose Malone. "I for one am looking forward to it. It's a way to relieve tension in these dark times. Mr. DeLacy merely made a suggestion.  Filius also recommended it and Professor Dumbledore agrees that it's a fine idea."

            "The lack of life boats on the _Titanic_ also seemed like a fine idea." Snape said.

            Professor McGonagall sighed heavily. "Then I can safely assume that you won't participate in the faculty's rendition of the music of _Grease_, a lovely Muggle musical.

            "I would rather go out for a pint with Sirius Black than humiliate myself before the entire student population."

            "Severus? Could you, for one time in your life, let yourself be laughed at? Yes I remember, you were teased horribly during your own school days. Forget all of that. You may be laughed at, but you'll laugh at other students and you may even laugh at yourself. More importantly, you'll have fun. You do know what fun is don't you?"

            Snape frowned slightly. "Something tells me that you want me to take part in this No-Talent Show?"

            "Yes"

            "Will there be choreography involved?"

            "Yes."

            "And solos?"

            "I believe so."

            "I'll sing then," he said. Snape walked over to the door. Pausing, he looked back at Professor McGonagall. "But only if I can be Danny."

****

Some time later…

            The events at the show varied from the traditional to the down right odd. Many students had signed up, having never experienced anything like it before. There was karaoke (the most celebrated performance was "Summer Nights" featuring Professors Snape and Sinistra). Hagrid had a great success with his trained Chimera, Pookie. The main attraction would be the Hufflepuffs lead by Leo. They all gathered in the Entrance Hall, each student dressed in a yellow T-shirt and black pants.  Leo cleared his throat, in an attempt to quiet his Housemates, but to know avail. He tried repeatedly until someone asked him if he was coughing up a fur ball. 

            "PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE IS A SEX GOD!"

            You could hear a pin drop in the deadly silence that filled the Entrance Hall (Actually only the students nearest the pin-dropper could hear it…but I digress.). "Alright," said Leo, "I'm not one to give long, drawn out pep talks that no one really cares about."

The Hufflepuffs applauded.

"As I was saying, I'm not going to try to build up your self-esteem because, frankly, if you don't believe you can do this than I'm not going to waste my bloody time trying to convince you otherwise. Let's go out there and show them what we've got." There were a few snickers. "No! That's not what I meant! Honestly, you all need to get your minds out of the gutter."

The Hufflepuffs ran into Great Hall, perfectly synchronized. Pleased by their success in break-dancing, Leo had incorporated a dance routine into the show. The Puffies were flawless, performing an impressive gymnastics routine. Then came the break-dancing…

It was unlike anything ever seen at Hogwarts. The routine had an almost hypnotic rhythm. Many of the students saw that hard work and dedication had paid off and could somehow see past the stereotypes of Hufflepuffs and see that they were truly brilliant and creative. At the end the Hall burst into deafening applause, even Professor Snape managed to smile in satisfaction  

Invisible to the celebrating students Helga Hufflepuff looked on. Marty, Tuttle to some, waddled over and sat at her feet, looking quizzically up at her. She scooped him up in her arms. "It was no what I had originally anticipated Marty, but it did the trick. My students, the humble and meek, the fair and the honest, are now on equal footing with their schoolmates for the first time in many years. I wish that Godric, Rowena, and Salazar were here...so I could rub it in their faces!" She laughed at the thought. "All's well that ends well Marty."

"So that's it? This is the end?" Marty asked. 

"It looks that way, doesn't it?

"Yes." Marty replied, suppressing a sob.

"Marty, are you crying?"

"No." he said in a muffled voice.

"Aww…yes you are."

"Am not."

"Yes you are. Somebody needs a hug! A big badger hug!"

FIN

A/N: Yep. That's all she wrote. I threw this project away for a while, convinced that I would never finish it. Well, here it is in all its Hufflepuffian glory. Thank to all my reviewers and those of you who told me to get off my duff and finish this story (you know who you are…hopefully)J

Please Read and Review. Check out more stories and ficlets by the Evil Yellow Day Moon.

~Amanda


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